Because all of us were raised by humans, we were all raised imperfectly. Even if it was wonderful, it’s never perfect. We all have particular wounds sowed (mostly unintentionally) by our care givers and their particular imperfections.
The concept of the “inner child” originates in Jungian therapy. Carl Jung proposed that the “child archetype” is the first milestone in the process of individuation — or, forming the self.
Our child self stays with us as a part of our unconscious. It represents our childhood qualities and ways of being. We can think of it as our “subpersonality” — one of the multiple dimensions of being human.
The inner child often gets activated when we are faced with challenges that remind us of a traumatic childhood memory. Until we consciously process and integrate those memories, our child self is calling the shots, often in the form of overreactions.
The degree of childhood trauma differs from person to person. For some, it may come from severe childhood abuse. Others experience subtler forms of abandonment, parental neglect, or simply struggle to fit in their peer group. Children experience life events, good and bad, more deeply. So putting behind childhood traumas may require going deep, that is why the practice of reparenting is beneficial. Inner child work could hold the key to accessing joy, freedom, and creativity that could be suppressed under some false limiting beliefs, and deep feelings such as defensiveness and hopelessness, acquired at a young age. The inner child needs us to acknowledge and process its painful experiences. Only then will it feel safe enough to come out and play the game of life freely.
Inner child work is a concept that invites us into creating corrective experiences from childhood. We do this inner child work by engaging in a process we call “reparenting.”
Reparenting is when we connect with our inner child, the little one inside us, and come into awareness around the wounds or particular events from our childhood that affected us and we haven't fully processed and reframed from an adult perspective. It is the process by which we are able to witness their hurts, listen non-judgmentally, and actively engage in repairing the hurts they express.
“Our past no longer exists as something 'behind us' that we can 'go back to.' The past is past. However, these unintegrated emotional charges continue to exist as energetic conditions imprinted within our emotional body. In essence, we aren’t 'going back' but 'going in.' The answers are all within us now.” Michael Brown in The Presence Process
How to Heal the Inner Child
1. Spend time remembering your child self.
What did you like to do as a child? What did you like to eat? What did you like to listen to? What did you like to watch on TV? Etc.
2. Recreate childhood experiences for yourself.
Ex. Perhaps when you took family vacations, mom or dad were preoccupied thinking about work or actively working. So on your own trips now as an adult, practice disconnecting and being present with yourself or with your own family to transform that pattern into a healthier one that heals that trauma in yourself and your family tree.
3. Know that you have an opportunity to re-parent that vulnerable part of you.
Practice noticing what you adore about your child self. Acknowledge and witness your child self stories, strengths, and milestones. The children and/or pets that we are responsible for in our adult lives provide new opportunities to practice better parenting and learn ways of re-parenting ourselves.
4. Get real with yourself about your wounds and how they affect you.
By dismissing your feelings about what happened in your home, you are doing the exact thing that was done to you as a child, invalidating your feelings and emotions– your true experience– because of how it may impact the family system to be real about what actually happened.
5. Do not expect the people that hurt you to be responsible for your healing.
Sometimes parents are not in the space or don’t have the capacity to apologize or offer validation for how their children experienced their parenting. Usually, they were doing the best they could, and they are continuing to do their best. Know that while it’s not your fault what happened to you, it is your responsibility to walk the path of healing if you choose to.
Yoga can play a significant role in reparenting of the inner child—a process of nurturing and healing the childlike aspects of ourselves that may have been neglected or wounded during childhood. Here’s how yoga can support this important emotional work:
1. Cultivating Self-Awareness
Mindful Presence: Yoga encourages present-moment awareness, helping you become more attuned to your inner child’s needs and emotions.
Body Awareness: Through physical postures (asanas), you can reconnect with the sensations and feelings stored in your body, which may reflect your inner child’s experiences.
2. Fostering Self-Compassion
Gentle Practices: Yoga promotes kindness and non-judgment through gentle and nurturing practices that mirror the compassion you wish to offer your inner child.
Self-Care: The emphasis on self-care and self-love in yoga helps you develop a more compassionate attitude toward yourself, which is crucial for reparenting.
3. Creating Safe Spaces
Safe Environment: Yoga classes and home practices create a safe, supportive space where you can explore and heal past wounds in a controlled and caring environment.
Inner Sanctuary: Meditation and relaxation techniques foster an inner sanctuary where you can comfort and support your inner child.
4. Healing Emotional Trauma
Somatic Healing: Yoga can help release stored emotions and trauma from the body, facilitating emotional healing and integration of the inner child’s experiences.
Breathwork: Pranayama (breathing exercises) calms the nervous system and helps process emotional blockages, providing relief and healing.
5. Developing Emotional Resilience
Emotional Regulation: Yoga teaches techniques for managing stress and emotions, helping you build resilience and stability that supports the inner child’s healing.
Mindfulness: Regular mindfulness practice enhances your ability to respond to emotions with calm and balance, rather than reacting impulsively.
6. Nurturing Playfulness
Playful Practices: Incorporating playful elements into your yoga practice, such as creative movements or joyful expressions, can reconnect you with the playful, innocent aspects of your inner child.
Child’s Pose (Balasana): This restorative pose can be particularly comforting and grounding, offering a symbolic embrace and connection with your inner child.
7. Strengthening Self-Connection
Introspection: Yoga encourages introspection and self-reflection, helping you explore and understand your inner child’s needs and feelings.
Connection: Building a deeper connection with yourself through yoga helps you address and nurture the unmet needs of your inner child.
8. Encouraging Self-Expression
Creative Flow: Yoga practices that include movement and expression can help release and channel emotions, allowing your inner child to express itself freely.
Authentic Expression: Through yoga, you learn to honor and express your true self, including the vulnerable and authentic aspects of your inner child.
9. Modeling Positive Behavior
Self-Care Routine: Developing a regular yoga practice models positive self-care habits and self-discipline, which can help you provide the nurturing and stability your inner child needs.
Healthy Boundaries: Yoga teaches the importance of setting boundaries and listening to your body’s signals, which can help you establish a healthier relationship with yourself.
10. Promoting Inner Calm
Relaxation Techniques: Yoga promotes relaxation and stress relief, creating a calm environment where you can soothe and support your inner child.
Balanced Energy: By harmonizing mind and body, yoga helps maintain emotional balance, allowing you to approach reparenting with a centered and calm demeanor.
By incorporating these aspects into your yoga practice, you can create a supportive and nurturing environment for reparenting your inner child, leading to deeper emotional healing and personal growth.
"Last week, I rode my first horse in 20 years" says Monica LeBlanc. "His name is Teddy, and I am in love. Teddy symbolizes for me a childhood dream I never was able to realize. The inner child in me feels sad about how she never got to run through fields on her very own horse. I know that this dream unfulfilled is symbolic of other hurts she experienced. And every time I saddle up, I can feel my perspective towards those hurts and their power over me melting away. Learning about my little girl inside is one of the most profound pieces of personal work I have done. I can speak for her and about her with compassion and curiosity. She continues to teach me about the world and myself the closer to her that I become. Join me in the treehouse and experience the power of your little self."
Namaste 🙏💖,
Inda
